How to Find Happiness While Discovering Your True Self
Almost one year ago, I made the decision to change my life once and for all. I had so many opportunities to seek change but didn’t. I was miserable and desperate for a new life that brought me ultimate happiness. I mean, I thought it only existed in movies! Would it be possible, that me, Zahraa Berro, could seek happiness in my life, be content with who I am and enjoy my life each morning?
It came down to two choices and it’s so simple I think you can relate…
Option #1: Stay miserable, unhappy and feel bad for myself.
Option #2: Get up and do something with my opportunities and discover what defines my happiness.
Can you guess which option I took?
Option #1? Sure…. Hundreds of times, but NOT this time. This time I took option #2. Let me tell you that it wasn’t only the best decision, but a life changing decision I regret not taking years ago.
Some of you reading this might be in your early 20s or 30s. You haven’t discovered what you truly want to do in life, but you’ve managed to do things because its convenient or pays the bills. A huge piece of advice I can give you is to NEVER EVER do that. Don’t look for convenience because one day you’ll be so fed up with your convenient choice, you’ll wake up to see that you’ve wasted years of your life not enjoying the things that make you happy.
Two main tips that have taught me huge lessons in my life that I constantly remember on a daily basis are:
Tip #1: Finding happiness is a journey-you don’t seek it overnight. To know if anything makes you happy you must try it first! Or else how will you know? Think about it. It applies to any situation you may have.
I’ll give you an example about me.
I studied pre-medical in my first 4 years at university. Only in my last semester did I realize it wasn’t something I wanted to pursue. I ended up switching careers to school of business and graduated as an accountant. To be honest, I don’t care for it. I just did it for having a degree and getting a good corporate job (we’ll talk about corporate jobs and why I dislike them in another blog post-I promise.)
Now, 12 years post high school graduation, I can say I have found my passion; A career that I love and wake up to each morning craving to do! It’s a bunch of my favorite things to do that include blogging, modest modeling, and even marketing.
The whole point of my example to show you that my journey took 12 years!! TWELVE! Let that sink in. You can get married, have kids, get a job and buy a house in that timeframe. Can you imagine why I’m writing this blog post? I don’t want you to wait 12 years like I did! I want you to get out there and try anything you’ve ever dreamed of. Wait for clues and red flags to see if you like it or not. Ask yourself during the first few weeks or months if this is something you wanted to do for the rest of your life.
Do you know how many people wake up unhappy every single day because they are stuck in a puddle of sadness and emptiness? You don’t want to be that person.
Tip #2: If I came up to you right now and handed you two tickets; one for a destination where its raining all the time and you’re stuck inside OR another for a sunny beach destination where you are bathing in the sun and enjoying tropical smoothies. Which would you choose?
I started with an example for this tip because I wanted you to see how easy your life can change. Metaphorically speaking, life is constantly handing you those same tickets! You are the only one who takes that ticket and chooses where to go. In this moment, is where you discover yourself:
Who are you?
What do you really want?
What defines happiness for you?
Is it a spouse? A degree? A high position in the workplace? A parent?
Or can happiness be found WITHOUT all these things. Do these factors and people influence our happiness? Should they? Can we be content with who we are and then whatever follows, follows?
Here was my mistake growing up. I thought that my happiness depended on my surroundings. If my surroundings changed, then it influenced how high or low my happiness became. Let me tell you: BIG MISTAKE!!
I thought a spouse could make me happier.
I though children could make me happier.
I thought a big house could make me happier.
I thought being an entrepreneur would make me happier.
I thought money would make me happier.
All honesty. None of it did make me happier in a sense where I was so happy. It didn’t influence my happiness to grow indefinitely. That’s when I realized I had the whole equation wrong.
I realized happiness is the simplest formula and I twisted it so much over the years that it made me lose 12 years of ultimate happiness indefinitely.
I’ve got the secret formula, but you must promise me you’re going to apply it starting now.
Not tomorrow! Now!
Are you ready?
Your happiness is based on your mindset. See, you can have all the money, cars, children and homes in the world, but if your mindset isn’t full of happy thoughts and determination, you cannot be content with anything life gives you. This is the most crucial factor I’ve noticed over the course of time:
Taking care of your MIND to maintain healthy positive thinking that is long term.
How can we do that? I’ll make a simple comparison. It’s like training a dog when you first bring him home. You must train him to sit, stand, roll over, eat from his bowl and even poop outside! You will place all your energy on your new dog to ensure he’ll do everything he is supposed to do. Aren’t you worth that same energy you just gave your dog? Isn’t your mindset deserving enough because it’s the greatest INVESTMENT you can make in the long run and has the greatest return for you? Seriously, what is stopping you from starting this? Don’t delay your happiness.
I’d like to end this post by sharing a special story…
I heard a story once by my mentor, Brian, who was a multimillionaire and worked so hard in his life to make sure he provided the best for his family and that everyone was simply happy.
He mentioned that with all the money in the world he has, if a single member was unhappy, it meant nothing to him to be so wealthy.
His wealth was worth 0 to him if his family was not happy in the end. One day Brian’s father was on his deathbed saying:
“I wish I took you and your siblings jet skiing along the Red River of the South. It was one thing in my life I wish I had taken you all on to do at least once.”
Of course, these are not his literal words, I am just rephrasing what I remember. But what my mentor did that week was purchase jet skis and took his whole family jet skiing. It became a tradition ever since.
Finding your happiness and making it come to life by doing something about it is what he did next. Brian realized that it’s the smaller things in life that have more value. Yes, working is important and providing for your family is crucial. But those memories he built with his family are the key to his happiness.
You don’t have to wait for somebody to be on their deathbed to start saying “I wish I did that and that.” You can do that now while everyone is around you!
This doesn’t necessarily mean that we must spend thousands of dollars to be happy. I tend to find happiness in the smaller things. For instance, being spontaneous and going out for ice cream or tickling my niece just to see her smile.
Happiness could be going for a walk on the beach or planting flowers you love to see all summer long. It doesn’t have to equal high monetary value, but high sentimental value instead. Something that makes your heart warm so deep, that you can repeat it daily.
How about you? It’s your turn to share some of your tips with me! I’d love to hear more about how you found happiness…